waaaaaaah, it has been a long time, hasn't it?

i do apologize

i have not been doing too well and i also have been very busy

ive been taking a break from things though and i've been doing so to try and get better

i will be better when i go home

i recently finished my final film here at school

i did the lights as usual

i have been able to do light for many films here and i am happy about that

it is usually very stressful because people can see light so they can judge how it looks where as they cannot judge sound without listening through the headphones

however they don't understand how hard it is to make it look good, to meet everyone's liking

so as one person struggles trying to make this light shine in all the right spots,

another person will see a light spill on the seat and ask how can i get rid of that or will ask for it to be moved somewhere else

the problem is what happens when i move the light and everything else turns dark just because you didn't want that seat to be seen

it feels almost like a metaphor for something, right?

something something trying so hard to be perfect based on everyones standards despite already shining your brightest something something

i dont know

everyone here seems to think they know everything about light when they haven't even taken a course on it.

they feel its just putting lamps on stands and sandbags on those stands.

it's a lot more.

the film i worked on is about a serial killer picking up a hitchhiker who is also a serial killer and the two find themselves a partnership in a dark comedy manner.

i think there are some parts of the script i don't find very appealing since they discuss things that are genuinely an issue in america but it just depends on taste

i felt i could work best on this project since i didn't have to leave campus for it and i knew everyone in the crew well.

i feel i don't have much more to talk about so i will end this on a quote i really liked recently by livia falcaru

goodbye for today

melancholiaah for tomorrow